B.F.D.

You know what this means. This is just a random spewing of “who cares” moments to people freaking out to trivial things.

Lyrics

it was saturday
and i was driving northbound on lakeshore drive.
as i drove around that curve near oak street beach
i noticed this old lady’s license plate frame that said
“MY GRANDKIDS ARE CUTER THAN YOURS”

later that day
i was driving through an uppity suburb
i don’t know what i was doing there
but i was.
at a red light is saw the bumper sticker
on a mini-van ahead of me that said
“MY DAUGHTER’S AN HONOR STUDENT AT ST. JOE SCHMOE ACADEMY”

the light turned green
and i turned on the radio
i switched it to AM
to get the time
the guy on the radio was going on and on and on
about what a shame it was that the bears
had a game stolen away from them today in overtime

when i reached my destination
i was sitting in my car composing myself
in the parking lot of the place that i was going to
this yuppie parked next to me
had a panicked look on his face
as he noticed a tiny scratch
on his new mercedes sport ute
and then he tried to buff it out

i walked inside
and i noticed that i had a headache
because i hadn’t had my coffee for the day
i saw one of those terrible coffee vending machines
and started to put in a few quarters
when this middle-aged lady with too much make-up on
ran up to me and said
“I WOULDN’T PUT YOUR MONEY IN THERE,
LAST WEEK I LOST FIFTEEN CENTS IN THAT MACHINE”

i got my coffee
and it was awful as always
but i drank it

Written and Recorded: March 1999