Category — Music

I grabbed a used copy of Bob Dylan’s newest record, Modern Times on vinyl tonight on my way home from working on my Taproot project. I am listening to it very loudly at this moment in my basement. It is so damn good. It’s bittersweet. It’s warm. It’s laid back. It’s modern. It’s old school. It’s bluesy without being cheesy. Sixty-five-year-old Bob’s voice has become deeper and he sings better than he normally does.

I bought this album on CD when it came came out six months ago. I thought that I had listened to it only a few times, but tonight when I dropped the needle on the vinyl, I was already intimately familiar with every single song. I must’ve listened to it more than I remembered. The added warmth of listening on vinyl is just beautiful.

Get Modern Times. You’ll think it’s okay on your first listen. You’ll like it on your second listen. You’ll love it on subsequent listens.

Here’s some more Bob Dylan in the basement:

The time has come. Ready or not world, “Zabada” is coming. Take a deep breath. Control your anxiety. “Zabada” will be unleashed … … … Soon!

I’ve settled on a title for the forthcoming record. It is … it is … “Zabada”. Yes, my infamous word that means nothing and everything. Zabada!

And I whipped together a quick cover by cutting out things from Wired magazine. Here it is:

I’m pretty well done with the tunes. Here’s the likely final ordered track listing :

1. Zabada
2. Price I Pay
3. Fun Bite II
4. Not Unhappy Blues
5. Aye Dios Rios
6. Bulletproof Shoes
7. Oshkosh
8. Jeff Tweedy Turd
9. Garbage Can
10. A Letter from Pablo
11. Hypocondriac (Hey Doctor)
12. I Don’t Know
13. Starck
14. Not Unhappy Blues (Reprise)
15. Bored
16. Zabada (Reprise)

Not long to wait! Keep your pants on!

Why do so many CD’s omit the artist and album name from the actual CD? Couldn’t they at least put it in small print somewhere? When you’ve got a pile of CD’s out of their cases, how are you supposed to know what is what? An example of this is Beck’s Sea Change. Do they think they’re too cool and artsy for labels?

I guess we’ve got bigger issues to worry about. That’s why this is Rob’s minor annoyance of the week!

I am plugging along on my record. I temporarily setup studio upstairs (as shown above) because the basement was damn cold and it was clogging my creativity and dexterity.

Pablo, the dog pictured in the new upstairs studio, would like me to clarify something from my previous post. Col. Haines Hampton is the CO-executive producer. Pablo is, of course, the other co-executive producer.

Man, I am getting a little obsessive about this little project of mine. I am having trouble concentrating on my work at work. My silly songs keep circulating in my head and I keep coming up with new ideas there and want to work on them there on the spot. Also, I should be spending more time working on my project that I am doing with the Taproot Foundation. I guess that is what March is for!

I’ve got 15 tracks in the bag. 2 or 3 are not whole songs, they are reprises of other songs …

Okay, back to my crazy little project …

Inpired by http://www.rpmchallenge.com/, which was inspired by http://www.nanowrimo.org/, I am working on some tunes with hopes of having a complete CD’s worth of tunes by March 1st.

The following titles are most probably going to make the final cut:

• Price I Pay
• A Letter from Pablo
• Hypocondriac (Hey Doctor)
• Not Unhappy Blues
• Zabada
• Bulletproof Shoes
• Garbage Can
• What’s Going On?
• Fun Bite II
• Jeff Tweedy Turd
• Starck

Other potential candidates include:

• I Donno
• Play Today (I Don’t Wanna)
• Samplin’ My Own Shit
• Mixed Up Lindsay
• SQL Song (My nerdiest song to date!)
• Sorry I’m Late
• Man Under the Stairs
• D/D/D
• Midwest Sunning Cycle
• Refresh/Oshkosh
• KFCC/ATMM
• Desplando

The ones in the first group are mostly finished. The ones in the second group are all sort of half-songs at the moment. I’ve also got a list of tunes that are like, quarter songs, that aren’t listed above.

I don’t take this too seriously; I’m just a hack musician. But writing and recording tunes is quite fun sometimes.
Most of these tunes are subtle or not-so-subtle jokes. I don’t like to think of them as quite Weird Al jokey, but they certainly aren’t Radiohead-ish or anything.

Most of these tunes have been brewing for a while. I have been writing little ditties in bits and spurts for most of the 2000’s. For example, looking through my notebook, I noticed tonight that the idea for “Not Unhappy Blues” was from 1999, I wrote the melody/structure/verse1/verse2 in May 2003, and just tonight I wrote verse3 and verse4.

The picture in this posting is my awesome basement studio, sweet knotty pine, eh? Notice executive producer Col. Haines Hampton el Diablo keeping a watchful eye on stuff. He accidentally makes a few appearances on the tracks, and I don’t think that I am going to edit him out…

The first lucky of you four readers to name the artist and title of all of records in view on my wall can get your very own postage-paid shipment of the final CD when it is done (not like I wouldn’t've given you one anyway). Good luck! (You can get a bigger version of the file by clicking on the image)

I like checking out iTunes celebrity playlists. I donno why, but I do. Occasionally I find a cool or interesting artist or song this way.

Now, checkout Diana Ross’s celebrity playlist below:

She picked all of her own songs! How sad! I’ve seen artists pick one or two of their own, but not this! If you’re like, Bob Dylan or Prince or maybe even Diana Ross, you deserve to put a song or two of your own in there. But it is morally just wrong to pick a playlist of all of your own tunes.

If Diana Ross can pick her own stuff, so can I. So, without further ado, I give you …

Rob Lambert’s Picks for the World’s Best Blog Postings of the Past Year or So

• Rob Lambert - Why Do We Have Caps Lock?
• Rob Lambert - Why Does “Writing It Down” Help When Solving Problems?
• Rob Lambert - Too Many Chiefs, Not Enough Indians
• Rob Lambert - Rock and Roll Reunion Mania
• Rob Lambert - Benefits of Big Feet
• Rob Lambert - My Worst Christmas Ever
• Rob Lambert - Diluted Senior Titles
• Rob Lambert - Pet Peeve of the Week: Slow Opening Sodas

I have noodled out a little sketch for a new song, called “Fun Bite ii” and you can check it out here: Zabada at Virb

If you want a downloadable version to show your friends, dogs and enemies, you can get it here: Fun Bite II ( right-click, save target/link as … yadda, yadda )

This was made with my awesome $80 pawn shop Lotus knock-off Fender Strat (with the “Dreamy Shimmer” GarageBand effect) and with my Washburn acoustic guitar that I bought in college with my student loan money. The wicked midi drum track is an awesome built-in GarageBand loop.

The title “Fun Bite” comes from me playing with Hampton the Husky, wrestling with him as he bites my hands playfully. When I was done, and he still wanted to play, I said, “No more fun bite! Game over!”. And at that moment the “Fun Bite” title was born. The “II” is just for the hell of it. Maybe I was trying to sound cool, like Synchronicity II, even though in that case there IS a Synchronicity I (Synchronicity II was the cooler of the two Synchronicities).

I may expand “Fun Bite” into a full song with lyrics, but I am not inspired on that yet…

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The past week or two have been rock and roll reunion announcement mania. Powerhouse bands The Police [see Billboard], Van Halen [see Billboard], Rage Against the Machine [see Billboard] and the Smashing Pumpkins [see Billboard], along with other acts such as Crowded House [see Billboard], James [see In The News], the Jesus and Mary Chain [see RTE], among others, have announced reunion shows or tours. All of these guys have been on varying length hiatuses, and most have them have had a soap opera break-up or three.
A few question pop into my head …

Why do they come back after the all of the bad blood?

I’d say, in most cases, for the money. Maybe that’s not the only reason, but it’s the biggest in most cases, I bet. If they say that it is “for the fans”, they are probably lying. Man I would’ve loved to see the Police and Van Halen in their early eighties heyday; but something tells me that it will be somewhat pathetic in 2007. My gut tells me “don’t go”, especially knowing that the ticket prices will most certainly be unreasonably high. Nevertheless, I’m guessing that the urge will be too great and I’ll end up seeing David Lee Roth embarrass himself this summer.

Doesn’t it suck when the original lineup doesn’t come back?

Yeah. It is so rare that a band goes it’s entire career without switching up major members. In this case, the Police and RATM both will reunite with their original and only lineups, but not most of the others. Man, Van Halen is not Van Halen without Michael Anthony’s harmony vocals and simple bass lines. Wolfie (Eddie VH’s 15 year old son who’s replacing Anthony) is gonna try to play all fancy like Flea or Les Claypool, and that just won’t work with EVH’s guitar.

Billy Corgan’s not inviting James Iha back to the Pumpkins; he should include Iha, and hell, even invite Darcy back. Yeah, they weren’t probably the biggest contributors or best musicians, but c’mon…

I guess none of these reunions are as bad as Guns ‘N Roses, who came back with only vocalist Axl Rose from the original lineup.

Won’t they ruin their legacy and mystique?

I say yes. It always happens. Van Halen’s history is already bruised and battered. But the Police and Rage Against the Machine have perfect legacies that they are going to screw up. Both of them have always had the same lineup and have a stellar list of studio recordings. Like when KISS came back with their original lineup and makeup … at first is was cool but then they toured over and over again, put out a crappy record, and quickly replaced Ace Frehley and Peter Criss with substitutes who wore their sacred makeup and costumes (a mortal sin in my book). And take Jane’s Addiction. Man, they called it quits in the early 90’s with two perfect studio albums and one awesome early live album. Even by the mid 90’s, they had achieved a legacy of mythical proportions. Then they put out a crappy record and from what I heard, put on a crappy tour. Why? Why? (though I did see the ‘97 Relapse tour, and it was fantastic)

Finally, why do news writers have to make cheesy-ass headlines?

Check these out:

• Vancouver Police Fans Send Out SOS About Reunion
• Sting - I’ll Be Watching You
• Reunion All The Rage
• Van Halen, With David Lee Roth, Getting Ready To Jump
• Dream Isn’t over for Crowded House
• Hey Now, Crowded House Plans Reunion Tour

Pathetic. Those remind me of Horatio Sanz doing Gene Shalit on SNL.
Here’s a cheese-ball headline that I should’ve used for this rant:

Despite All My RAGE, I’ll Probably Dance the Night Away and Then Be Driven to Tears at These Reunion Shows

I like to over-explain bad jokes, so here it goes:
You see, “Despite All My Rage…” is a line mentioned in the Smashing Pumpkin’s “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” and it says RAGE, which gets me a two for one. “Dance the Night Away” is Van Halen’s first top 20 U.S. hit and “Driven to Tears” is a song from my favorite Police record Zenyatta Mondatta. Here’s another one:

After Killing in the Name of a Rhinoceros (Something SO Strong), Roxanne Laid Her HEAD ON Jamie’s Cryin’ Ass

That was stupid as hell on purpose, but I got references in to all seven reuniting bands!

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So, seven years ago (December 1999) I wrote a little novelty country Christmas song. The drawing to the left is a fine self-portait that I did of myself when I wrote it. After I wrote the ditty, I recorded a version of it, but that version is long gone. I whipped out a new version last Friday after work.

You can download the song here: Holidaze-2006.mp3

Here’s the lyrics:

Holidaze by Rob Lambert

Please baby, baby save me from this craze.
Booze me up, drug me up & leave me in a haze.
What I need right now is a great big buzz that stayeeeees.
Oh put me in a coma for the holi-holidayeeeeees.

Oh yes the weather outside is frightful.
And those shoppers are far from delightful.
And if those carolers come here, they'll be met with a rifle.
Just put me in a coma, for the holi-holidayeeeeees.

Oh Santa Claus is not comin' to town.
At least our chimney's one that he ain't comin' down.
Let's skip Christmas this year and have no concern,
Cause in just 12 months it's gonna return.

Oh deck the halls with nothing because I will be numb,
On whiskey, vodka, beer, Coca-Cola and rum.
I'm gonna have a party, and not a soul can come.
Cause I'll be in a coma, for the holi-holidayeeeeees.

Oh Santa Claus is not comin' to town.
At least our chimney's one that he ain't comin' down.
Let's skip it this year and have no concern,
Cause in 12 damn months it's gonna return.

Oh hush that stupid bell, cause I can't spare a dime.
Cause I threw in a dollar when I passed you last time.
And I just spent the rest here on a case o' Milwaukee's Best beer-eeeeer.
I'm gonna induce a coma for the holi-holidayeeeeees.

Oh Santa Claus ain't comin' to town.
At least our chimney's one that he ain't comin' down.
Let's skip it this year and have no concern,
Cause in 12 damn months it's gonna return.

Please baby, baby save me from this craze.
Booze me up, drug me up, leave me in a haze.
Please put me in a coma for the holidayeeeeees.
Oh put me in a coma...for the holi-holidayeeeeees.

© Copyright 1999 Rob Lambert

I hacked that thing out in 45 minutes in GarageBand. Here’s the lineup:

me: rhythm guitar

me: bass guitar

me: wicked fuzzy guitar solo

me: breaking beer bottles

GarageBand JamPack Rhythm Section: drums

me: vocals

me: drunk guy yelling (I only had two beers so I guess that I was only pretending to be drunk)

Enjoy!

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