Axe Body Spray Totally Doesn’t Work
Inspired by those Axe body spray commercials, I started an experiment a few weeks ago: start using it and then wait for the ladies to accost me!
The first day of my experiment, I put a liberal amount of the body spray on in my car before I walked into work. When I got to the elevator, I got out my Blackberry, checked my email and pretended to be really busy as I paced in front of the elevators (I was really waiting for my first lucky subject for my experiment 
).
After about 6 minutes, a reasonably attractive professional woman in her late twenties approached; It was time to enter the elevator!
I tried to play it cool, but I couldn’t contain myself and a cat-ate-the-canary smile appeared on my face. The door closed. I was on the right side of the car, she was on the left. I tried to make a subtle glance her way. That’s when I noticed that she looked really uncomfortable. I turned to say something to her and at the same time, she pulled her key chain out of her purse. That’s when I noticed a cylinder that looked like pepper spray. She was worried that I was going to attack her, when obviously, the proper thing for her to do in this situation (with my sexy manly scent and all) was to attack me!
She got off on the sixth floor with no incident.
I tried this experiment for the next seven work days in the morning, after lunch, and usually at about 3 PM. After a while, I was able to avoid the guilty smile and then the ride was just boring and uneventful. That’s when I gave up.
So you heard it first from me, that Axe body spray stuff totally doesn’t work!
The End 
This work of fiction was brought to you by:
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- Antarctica Explorer Series Vol. 1 – Nahanni Productions
- Uzi 3/4-Ounce Keyring Pepper Spray
- Energy Efficiency Manual: for everyone who uses energy, pays for utilities, designs and builds, is interested in energy conservation and the environment
Oh Rob, you don’t need Axe to be irresistible.
Maybe your natural pheromones are so powerful that Axe somehow worked against them (like an antidote) causing the opposite reaction to be true.
*hugs*
I hear that you still need to bathe daily for the axe spray to work. Brushing your teeth helps too.
yea