Rob Lambert.com

I was in a slap-happy mood at work to today and wrote on the whiteboard:

“When in doubt, GridBadLayout”

Then I kept going with other geeky rhyming truisms, anti-patterns and nonsense. Here's some more:

• When in doubt,
  GridBagLayout

• When you suffer,
  use StringBuffer

• When you're dead,
  create new Thread()

• When you don't care,
  dump to System.err

• When your query's not able,
  use a temp table.

• When you are full of mush,
  try to do a session.flush()

• If are wise,
  you will serialize.

• When the db is froze,
  don't forget connection.close()

• When in trouble,
  cast to a Double.

• Don't use your object in just one place,
  implement and interface.

• When in testing you need a sub,
  simply write a simple stub.

• When you want an unweildy mess,
  catch Exceptions, then suppress.

• When a Java guy up and bales,
  make sure he's running for the Rails.

I know, mightly stupid. But it's fun to say things like “When in doubt, GridBagLayout” when someone asks your opinion on something totally unrelated to AWT or whatever. A couple of these are contributed by co-workers, I don't want to take all of the credit for the stupidness.

Feel free to add your silly technology/Java rhymes, everybody's doing it!

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